I love cereal. Breakfast, lunch, dinner (especially) anytime is a good time for cereal. There are lots of little pieces of goodness crammed into a big bowl of goodness to create a total meal of goodness. So much…goodness. You get it.
It’s easy to deal with life when 1 or 2 little things go wrong. We can naturally deal with those things in a “grown up way”. But what do people with BPD, or addiction issues, or other mental health problems do when 1 or 2 little things become 7 or 8 little things and compound into several larger things? It’s still a bowl of cereal, we have to remember that. Just a bunch of little things. And according to the favorite book and loved by all, we can’t sweat the small ‘things’.
Start small.
Grab your spoon friends and start by accepting your feelings. Sometimes this is hard for us, I know it is for me. Especially if you are recently sober and are starting to feel feelings for the first time. Emotional Hangovers (which I have spoken about before) can be hard. Starting to accept those feelings not only as yours but as real is a huge start. Any feelings you experience are your own and are completely normal. Feelings of worry, fear, loneliness, grief, boredom, anxiety on one end of the spectrum to feelings of elation, joy, playful, powerful, amorous and impatient. And oddly, one side of the “feels wheel” isn’t necessarily easier than the other. Feeling great can be easily just as hard as feeling poorly for most of us. Stress is a natural part of life, and it is a crazy feeling to feel if you haven’t felt it before. But we need to learn how to deal with stress in a healthy (and kind way) for ourselves.
Another small thing we can do for self-care when we are dealing with a lot is shifting our expectations. Now this means accepting we are not in control. For a lot of us, this is difficult. I lump myself into this group because by nature I am a control freak and if I have learned anything from being in recovery, I cannot control anyone but myself and my own actions. Some days I take this to heart better than others – I will admit that, but I am working on it. I promise. I have to shift (we all do) out of control-mode and therefore out of our own expectations of what we think things should be and what the outcomes of situations can and should become. During times of change and stress, our needs will change. How we take the time to transition our needs and shift our expectations of those needs will help us respond differently to the events that are happening around us. Practice mindful breathing daily to help with the ever changing expectations of life.
The next small thing to do for your own self-care under stressful moments is one that I personally enjoy the most. Look for moments that give you serenity. There are so many things you can do, whatever works for you. For me, I love watching the clouds, stepping out in nature, connecting with the earth. I love breathing in the air, waking early and watching the sunrise, or going out and walking my dogs during the sunset. These are things that you just can’t argue with or take for granted on a daily basis. These moments of nature won’t happen again and you will see these things as they are supposed to happen, and you will hear the universe’s messages for you. Take time for yourself to peel out of the stressful moments and notice the quiet. Notice how loud the quiet can be. No matter what, your choices of finding what nature has to hold, will always find peace and serenity for you. Take your time in nature when you have stress and breathe it all in. Again, practice that mindful breathing and accept whatever feelings you are currently experiencing. Give that over to the earth.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Grounding yourself can help really for moments of stress. Small or large. While you are in a moment of stress, be still and take a moment to breathe mindfully. There are 5 things that can ground you to bring you back out of these stressful moments and back to the present. Take notice of 5 things you see. Take notice of 4 things you feel. Take notice of 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell and take notice of 1 thing you taste. This 5,4,3,2,1 sense test can be done at any time, but is great particularly if you are alone and gearing up for a big presentation or a big moment. Taking notice of what your body is noticing will center you again. I love this practice, but candidly, don’t use it enough myself.
If you’re anything like me, when you get in a ‘mood’ you like to stay there until you are READY to leave. I don’t know why I like to do that, maybe it’s part of my own little world of weirdness. If I’m sad, I like sadness for a bit. Then bring me out when I say the word. If I’m depressed, let me be depressed and I will listen to songs that make me depressed. If I’m stressed, I will work it out in my own way. That may or may not make sense to you – but there’s one thing I know, that is NOT healthy. And once again, I am working on it. So what we need to do together is take a dose of the best medicine. Laughter. It’s so cliché but you know it’s true. Share stories with your friends, share meme’s and videos, watch your favorite show as a break. Whatever you can to take a moment to laugh in your times of stress. It might start off stressful but if you need to laugh, you will instantly forget why you’re stressed and it will give your brain and emotions a break. What a beautiful thing!
Stress Management is key to any adult’s life. It’s part of “Adulting”. Which is why we are the “lucky ones” and also get to pay taxes and bills. But there are perks too. I hope you find your own routine for self-care of stress management. And I hope some of these tips helped. Nothing in this world is meant to be easy, but we are all on this journey together. So I encourage you to smile at someone today, it might make their day a bit brighter – and I bet it will make yours a bit brighter too!
The goal of these blogs is to set intentions and to manifest a beautiful and purposeful life! To find beauty in the ugliest of places and to find light in the darkest.
Come with me on this journey as we discover a pathway to healing, health, purpose and joy!
And remember: Don’t take life too seriously, no one gets out alive!
Awaken Your Soul's Potential 