We all know how it starts. The New York ball drops and a new year begins. We’ve been planning our new years resolutions for days, sometimes weeks! January 1st hits and we start off super strong. Going to the gym, reading that book, eating that broccoli and so on. We feel that new rush of accountability and power and self-love. It’s both enticing and exciting. We all think “I’m so proud of myself! I can do this!” The next day, January 2nd we wake up and do it all again! It’s invigorating. We got this.
Then, as the middle of January approaches and we have stuck to our resolutions for 2-3 weeks, something shifts. Some of us, not all, but some begin to wain and waver a bit. February comes all of the sudden and we now find ourselves sticking to this “new formed habit” only several days a week. And as time marches on, the days get fewer and fewer and further and further apart. But why?
There are a lot of schools of thought out there about how long it takes to form AND stick with a new part of life to make it a “habit” (or, resolution). Some say 21 days, some say upwards of a year. However in my research for this post, the majority of what I have found seems to be around 10 weeks. It’s at this point most people say that specific learned behavior gets progressively easier. No one wants to do anything difficult. But sometimes we need to in order for it to become an easy routine in our lives. Whether you believe in the 21 day theory or the full year theory, we can all agree that sticking with something when you don’t want to is the key to change.
Let’s look at why many resolutions fail. Following, we will look at how to make a resolution stick and become habit!
Pulling new years resolutions out and away from other “habits” (since its the new year and on topic), many of our resolutions fail because we don’t have a consistent tracking system. Some of us make charts (I’m totally guilty of this) and fill the chart one week out of excitement but then forget about it, or buy a journal and then don’t set a timer to write in it, or go to the gym and then the weather gets bad or you get sick for 2 days. (I could go on) But we don’t have a consistent tracking mechanism. Another reason of failure is chalked up to unrealistic expectations: For example: I’m going to lose 20 pounds by February 1. Then, like it does, February 1 rolls around and the only thing we are losing is 5 pounds and happiness. Goals that are overly ambitious can easily lead to frustration or early burnout when we don’t achieve these higher than normal expectations we put on ourselves. Lastly, my biggest reason personally (and I’ve hinted to it already) are those daily demands and challenges the come up unexpectedly which take precedent. Whether it be work, or kids, or home life, this is the most common reason (or reasons) that our new years resolutions fail. Albeit that’s a good reason, life happens, it is still disconcerting when you want your resolutions to succeed. Do you see any similarities in your life to these? Do you eventually forget about your resolutions or are you always keeping on track? If you succeed year after year, I’m super proud of you! You are in the small percentage of about 5-20%.
If you find yourself (like me) in the majority of 80-95% of people who, for lack of a better term, don’t keep their new years resolutions/fail, below are ways to help you/us work toward sticking with our yearly goals and habits that we want to implement.
First and foremost, it’s a mental journey. Helping yourself keep those resolutions is mostly mental. Choose NOT to fail. (And just so you know, I hate using the term ‘fail’… I’m just trying to be dramatic for effect – LOL) And that sounds easy peasy, right? Just don’t fail. End of story, we are done here.
If only it were that simple. We’ve talked several times in previous posts about mentality and being in a good head space, but both thinking positively and being mentally “tough” are excellent ways to stick with your resolutions. In fact, one of my personal resolutions is to work on my anxiety and be “mentally stronger” this year.
Patience is also key. Be kind to yourself and set resolutions that are both attainable and meaningful to you and your journey. I know with my daily schedule, making it to a gym every day to work out is not an option, but I can do yoga in my home gym and meditate in my zen space. That works for me and that’s an easier resolution to stick with. With patience and thinking positively (as mentioned above) you should also practice forward thinking. As it sounds, think of resolutions (or even alter them now) to fit into your near future and that schedule. If you have a lot of travel coming up, maybe getting 9 hours of sleep is not realistic, but getting 6-7 hours of well rested sleep can be. Or if you’re working on a big merger at the office and see long nights ahead, resolute to call your family at a certain time every day. It’s ok to start off small when you’re practicing forward thinking. Lastly, think of the D&D idea. Define and develop. Define your goal/resolution – write it down on paper so you can visually see it. Then develop a time frame for this resolution. Many of us don’t set a time frame, and I’m guilty of that myself. For example, let’s say one of the things on your bucket list of life is to go skydiving, and this is your year. Write it down. Define it. Then think logically about how you can make it happen AND BY WHEN. Then write it on your calendar in red permanent ink! The plan is, find out how much it will cost where you live. Then save a certain amount of money each month toward this and if you want to resolute you WILL go skydiving in August, you have the tools to do it. On your calendar should also be little reminders like “get physical at doctors office” and “call skydiving location to schedule my lessons and jump!”. It’s all in the details and the more we have on a certain goal or resolution, the more likely we are to stick with that particular plan!
Personally, I love the idea of resolutions and I know I need to get better at sticking to them and toughening up my mental game. This year I am starting small and truly working on my physical health and career, which in turn will help our familial goals.
I’m excited about 2025 and wish everyone good blessings, happy memories and lots of love this year. Let me know what your resolutions are this year!
OH! One more thing. I also resolute to be more systematic and diligent in writing this year! Hopefully I can get a schedule going! Define and develop, right?
Cheers!
The goal of these blogs is to set intentions and to manifest a beautiful and purposeful life! To find beauty in the ugliest of places and to find light in the darkest.
Come with me on this journey as we discover a pathway to healing, health, purpose and joy!
And remember: Don’t take life too seriously, no one gets out alive!
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